all i want is not to need you now

i never thought i'd get to this point, but it seems that i have. i have finally arrived at the point where i feel like i am ready to leave. i have a hunch that this will be just a short phase induced by exasperating loneliness, but hey it's not such a bad place to be. i'm just so ready to have friends again. my world is very small and lonely right now. i suppose i should have seen it coming. community college was not the best idea considering i don't like most normal people. i was completely naive about having a boyfriend in high school. i expect far too much from him. afterall, he isn't even 18 yet. as much as i want to deny it, we are in such different places right now and maybe we always will be?? i don't i know i am just so torn. i don't want to leave my home and my family and sean, but at the same time i'm just so ready for change. i'm done with this horrible limbo - no longer in high school and not quite in college. i just need to belong somewhere, people to hang out with, my own life.