an apple a day

i went to the doctor today. it was kind of awkward because i am 19 and still going to a pediactric place. there were little kids everywhere and i, theoretically, could have kids. they gave me a shot today, the second and last of my hep a shots. it hurt considerably. my only consolation was getting a snoopy band aid.

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the countdown begins...

as of today, i have only one month left until i leave for berkeley. i remember thinking that this moment seemed so far away and all of a sudden it snuck up on me. one month left. thirty-one days. 744 hours. it really isn't that much in the scheme of things. and i know it's going to just fly by. only so much time left with the people that i love. only so much time for normalcy. i can't even fathom how different my life is going to be in a matter of weeks. i'm astounded, dazzled and scare. last night, my dad asked me to stay home and go to UW. i have to admit, i considered his request for a few minutes. but just as i am resisting the though of leaving and accepting change, a part of me knows it is time. i'm so overdue compared to the everyone else, but i don't think i'm spoiled yet. just ripe enough for the taking.

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sooner or later this cold, it's gonna break and our words'll be heard again

~sigh~. yet another day where sean and i have not spoken a word to each other. another day where he didn't call when he said he would. another day where i couldn't get a hold of him, if even to just say hello, because (big surprise), his cellphone was not charged. you'd think incidences like these would become more sporadic as our time together grows increasingly shorter. but no. they actually seem to be increasing. what i find most interesting and unsual about this usual day is the fact that i'm not seething with anger like i usually am. perhaps it is because i am exhausted. or perhaps it is because an overwhelming sense of disappointment has hegemony over my other emotions. it's amazing what you will put up with time and time again for someone that you love. this, my friends, is the sound of settling. sean was right to say that i shouldn't have to just settle for the way things are. in fact, neither of us should. but i have come to suspect that settling for the way things are is perhaps the single greatest and most diffcult thing you can do for someone you truly care for.

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two class periods left...

oh how i am counting down the hours to my freedom from community college.

today, jeff (a.k.a. pill snorter) told us about how he "would''t be able to sit through class if i didn't smoke a bowl every morning." which got me thinking 1) hmmmm that explains a lot about you and 2) i know he's talking about weed, but what i am unsure of is what precisely a bowl is. hold on one moment, i will ask someone knowledgable..........ahhhh okay. so bowl refers to the bowl piece on a pipe or bong, so a bowl is a piece of bud about that size. i'm sure all you reading knew that, but i needed clarification.

anyway, i only have an essay, 30 minute group presentation and 2 class periods left. it's so close i can taste it.

and speaking of taste, my teachers brought us cookies and juice today. of course there was that one guy who grabbed like three cookies at once and looked like a total greedy little bastard. and one of the apple juices smelled funny and kinda tasted like pee. I asked the guy setting next to me, ryan, if he thought it smelled funny and he told me that it smelled like normal apple juice and that maybe it just wasn't good enough for my tastes. perhaps he was right, but i think most people dislike the taste of piss.

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